Monday, August 20, 2018

Gratitude

My sincere thanks to all of you who left such kind comments on the passing of my father.  Your thoughts are truly appreciated, and I look forward to visiting each of you very soon.  I will be staying with my mom tonight and Wednesday night; my sister stayed with her all of last week.  We're trying to help mom to gradually transition to being there alone.  She's not afraid to stay there by herself, but she does dread being alone all the time.  She's very fortunate in that she has truly wonderful neighbors, church family, and us.
 
I titled this post "Gratitude" and that may seem strange upon losing a father.  However, his passing could have been so much worse, and much more frightening for him and my mom, had they not gone to the hospital when they did.  My dad essentially died from kidney failure; being on dialysis for the past five years was so hard on his body.  When he went to the hospital two weeks ago, he had an infection and an obstruction.  The infection was responding to antibiotics, but the obstruction could only be fixed by surgery, and my dad was absolutely not a candidate for surgery at that point.  His body was weak, he'd lost so much weight, and his immune system was compromised.  The surgeon talked to us in detail about this on Saturday afternoon.  There were so many "what ifs" and risks, my mom was agonizing over making a decision.  Fortunately, God took that decision out of her hands.  My dad just slipped into a deep sleep sometime Saturday, and didn't wake again. 
 
 
  I think this last year was the hardest for my dad, having lost both of his legs above the knees.  It took away the last of his independence, and he lost all interest in the things he'd cared about in life -- with the exception of his family.  I saw him the day before he went into the hospital, and he was having a good day.  My sister and I were both there, with our mom, and my dad told me when I was leaving how very much he loved us all.  We knew that he did, but he always wanted to tell us.
 
I have dreaded the loss of a parent for some years now.  Hal and I have been so very lucky to still have all four of our parents all these years; many of our friends had already lost one, or both, parents.  I've been reminiscing on my childhood this summer, and it's almost like a part of me knew this was coming.  I'm thankful for my dad and everything he meant to us.  My dad never had any boys of his own, and he was so tickled when our son was born (not that he ever loved Will a bit more than his granddaughter, mind you).  Will was born on August 13th, and 28 years later, my dad passed on from this life. 
 
 On this past Friday, my dad was buried in the graveyard, known as "God's Acre" behind the church that he loved so much.  Rest in Peace, Daddy -- we will miss you.
 
          

13 comments:

  1. Keeping your mom and all the family in prayer. It is so good to know that she has two wonderful daughters, kind neighbors, and loving friends. How good that you all enjoyed a good day recently where your dad expressed his love for you all. Be very gentle with yourselves and each other.

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  2. Such a sweet post. I'm sure there is some relief to know your dad's suffering is over. And aren't we thankful for the memories we have that just grow sweeter as time passes. Many things or places will remind you of your dad--maybe painful at first--but eventually you will be glad for the reminders. I hope your mom adjusts well in time.

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  3. Dear Denise,
    What a sweet post. I'm glad your father's passing was peaceful and timely. It will take time to get used to his absence. I still have both of my parents, for which I'm so thankful, but we said "good-bye for now" to both of Tim's, his mother just last summer. There's an ache that comes and goes. May your time of reflection and memory be comforting, as well as knowing he has passed to a life without pain and suffering.

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  4. So sorry for your loss, sending loving thoughts and prayers to you and your family, especially for your Mom as she tries to adjust. I walked this road with my Mom many years ago.
    Blessings,
    Sue

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  5. So sorry to read of the loss of your father. What a beautiful post in honor of him. It is so difficult to lose a parent. I lost my mom a number of years ago and my dad is not in the best health. This reminds me to be grateful for each day we still have.

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  6. Continuing to pray for your mom and your family as you learn to live without him. Knowing he is in a wonderful place helps our hearts but there's still a void. Hugs.

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  7. My heart aches for you Denise. We have lost all four parents and I miss them terribly....MY Mother-in-law was on dialysis for 11 years and it really does take an extreme toll. In my dreams, I return to my childhood home and my parents are there.....as I said, treasure those wonderful memories....they will serve you well....hugs dear one!

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  8. It isn't easy to lose a parent, I've lost both mine. Gratitude for the time spent together and the sacrifices made for me, the fun memories, those are what matter. Take care.

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  9. Such a sweet post about your father, Denise. Glad your dear mom didn't have to make those hard decisions at the end of his time on this earth. That is the sweetest photo. Is he holding you in that photo? Hugs and may God comfort all of you as you grieve and remember.

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  10. What a beautifully written post you've shared with us, Denise. I can understand why you are grateful for your dad and also for the way that he slipped peacefully away without your mom having to make any decisions. You will always have your special memories of him to carry you through. I am thankful that your mom has such loving family and friends to help her. God bless you and your family.

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  11. Denise, I haven't visited in awhile so am so sad to hear about your dad's passing. To lose a parent is so hard no matter what age you are. I'm glad he slipped easily away and your mom didn't have to agonize over anything. I lost both my parents many years ago. It was so sad to know that my mom would not meet her grandson-in-law or her great grandson although my dad did before he passed which I was thankful for. These are very hard times but we know we will all have to go through them, but that certainly doesn't make it any easier. Your mom must be so glad for your support. Take care and bless all your family..Judy

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  12. Thank you for this sweet post. Your Daddy was proud of your blog and he would like this. He loved you very much. Mom

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  13. I am praying for you, Denise. Also remembering your mother and sister.

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